Thursday, October 16, 2008

You Can Have Whatever You Like...

(The title isn't relevant to the entry. I was just listening to the song.)
Second post! My BIG SISTERS, Liz and Nicole, are like two enormous 4 year olds and kept telling me to write a new post! Hehehe just kidding. <3zzzz. I'm being an emoface today because this particular day has some meaning to least for me. So, this may be an emo entry.

My life is so incredibly strange. And since my brain only functions when thinking about literary devices and quotes from other sources, the only things circulating in my brain is one line from Juno and a few lines from a Kings of Convenience song. They are both about home. And not really understanding the concept of home. Friendship is a weird concept to me, too. I had never really thought about it before. I've had amazingly absurd experiences within friendship and relationships even just within the past year (not including my peculiar childhood), and I'm justifiably confused. I'm in Ohio for pete's sake. That's confusing enough as it is. Everyone's oddly nice here, and on an academic note, I have relatively small classes, so it's been easier for me, and this is why it's so confusing that I feel the need to go home. The line from Juno that is circling my brain is: "It always feel so good to go home when you've been somewhere so different." It's such a cute scene, too. She's standing in her front yard, picking up flowers and smelling them. And "Homesick" is the title of the KOC song...which is my life right now. I probably didn't move here for the right reasons. But, I guess I'm glad I did because there would always be a trailing thought in my mind. Always kind of wondering if I just chose to settle into a comfortable routine and never try new things. Being here, I've had to try EVERYTHING new, and it's scaring the shit out of me every single day. And, in a way, I'm happy about that. I was also happy to go home and see all kinds of weird hipsters again. I love hipsters. I don't know what my plan will look like, but everything will take shape eventually.
And, I'm upset about something in particular today, and there are lots of memories flashing around my head like really dull fireworks constantly. Everything we've ever said to each other. And when the moon was so bright. When I felt like that was the one place I felt so comfortable; like nothing else really mattered (with my feet on the dash, ben gibbard). It's something I can't dwell on forever, but I can be happy that I felt that way. And I can go home, and I can feel like it's the ending in a really good way.

On a slightly less emo note, I became a vegetarian! Yay! I love eating plants! But, I'm also very stressed right now because I have soooo many papers to write! And people around me are annoying me with their ignorance! Yay! I love when people don't want to think about anything but their upcoming trips to Europe and how they need to get more sparkly shoes and if the presidential candidates are wearing makeup...when we could be going into an economic depression! Weee!

I want to be Tina Fey. I also want to play music. I want to be someone cool. This post is so random!

Leaving you with my favorite song lyrics!

"What gives this mess some grace unless it's fictions
Unless it's licks, man
Unless it's lies or it's love?
What breaks this heart the most is the ghost of some rock and roll fan
Exploding up from the stands
With her heart opened up
And I want to tell her, "your love isn't lost"
Say, "my heart is still crossed"
Scream, "you're so wonderful"
What a dream in the dark
About working so hard
About glowing so stoned
Trying not to turn off
Trying not to believe in that lie all on your own
La la la la..."

-Kulu to your LULU-


liz shmackenzie said...


It's okay to be emo a little bit but you have to remember that people are weirdos and so are you! HEHEH. It's true though. I always think about what friends really are (because I hate almost everyone but still HAVE to have friends, I guess...) so it's weird. I think mostly you have to suck it up and realize that you're going to hate everyone once you get to know them, haha. But maybe you won't! There are good people in the world. You just gotta be more open to them.

Nicole said...

FAMILY! Also, Massachusetts is totally closer to me than Ohio. Therefore it wins! You should make a post about all the yummies you buy OM NOMNOM FOOOD. I hope you feel better, sorry people are buttheads and obsessed with sparkly shoes and makeup. Come to Smith! ;-)