i will never be an adult.

This is the kind of mood I am in, currently. I don't feel like thinking, unless it is about dancing panda bears. I go through phases where I believe I am supposed to be doing responsible things twenty fours hours per day. That is an unbelievable amount of time, in case you were wondering. During these phases (which usually last weeks), I feel like punching anyone who is having fun and/or not thinking about how to effectively dismantle patriarchy. [By the way: trying to be responsible twenty four hours a day ends up being counterproductive. I end up procrastinating, which puts me in a hole of shame.] At the end of these periods, I break down, and I need to watch panda bears. I also end up needing to hide my phone, bank account numbers, non-fiction books, and post-it notes. Taking a nap even sounds painful. It sounds like I may wake up in a panic.

I'm afraid to act my age. I'm young. I can't be on top of the world. I can try to, but, it isn't worth it. I can bake banana bread and draw cartoons about cannibalistic farm animals and still get a good grade in my colonial + postcolonial literature course.

Here's to not going crazy before I graduate.